Best Quotes from Living Sober by Anonymous with Page Numbers

In getting used to not drinking, we have found that we needed new habits to take the place of those old ones.

Not drinking has become natural and easy, not a long, dreary struggle.

These practical, hour-by-hour methods can easily be used at home, at work, or in social gatherings.

We think you'll find many or even all of the suggestions discussed here valuable in living sober, with comfort and ease.

Keep an open mind.

It's a better idea to just set them aside for the time being.

Many of us found that the sooner we started work on the Twelve Steps offered as a program of recovery in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous,' the better.

There is no prescribed AA 'right' way or 'wrong' way.

Each of us uses what is best for himself or herself—without closing the door on other kinds of help we may find valuable at another time.

And each of us tries to respect others' rights to do things differently.

It serves as an important reminder to us to keep a balance in our lives.

Like good food, good ideas did us no good unless we made intelligent use of them.

We found that we have to use plain everyday intelligence in applying the suggestions that follow.

Every method described here needs to be used with good judgment.

Sometimes, getting sober can be done on your own at home; but frequently, prolonged drinking has caused such serious medical problems.

At least, we understand. We have been there.

It's about living sober.

We have also found that we have to stay away from other mind-changing drugs.

Sobriety is the launching pad for our recovery.

If you don't take that first drink, you can't get drunk.

If we do not take the first drink, we never get drunk.

Just don't pick up that first drink.

It is the first drink which triggers...the compulsion to drink more and more.

Instead of planning never to get drunk, we have learned to concentrate on avoiding only one drink: the first one.

The habit of thinking this way has helped hundreds of thousands of us stay sober for years.

Doctors who are experts on alcoholism tell us that there is a sound medical foundation for avoiding the first drink.

Our experience seems to prove this.

In our drinking days, we often had such bad times that we swore, 'Never again'.

We were absolutely sincere when we voiced these declarations through gritted teeth.

We wanted never to be drunk again.

We have found it more realistic—and more successful—to say, "I am not taking a drink just for today."

No matter what the temptation or provocation, we determine to go to any extremes necessary to avoid a drink today.

If the desire to drink is really strong, many of us chop the 24 hours down into smaller parts.

Every recovery from alcoholism began with one sober hour.

Today is always here, life is daily; today is all we have; and anybody can go one day without drinking.

First, we try living in the now just in order to stay sober—and it works.

One of the new thinking habits a recovering alcoholic can develop is a calm view of himself or herself as someone who needs to avoid chemicals.

Alcoholism is progressive.

We are strongly persuaded that alcoholism is a fatal disease.

Accept the "diagnosis"—then you can find out what can be done to keep the condition "under control."

"If you want to get well, you just take your treatment and follow directions and go on living."

"We need not be ashamed that we have a disease. It is no disgrace."

"The first step toward feeling better, and getting over our sickness, is quite simply not drinking."

"Wouldn't you rather recognize you have a health condition which can be successfully treated, than spend a lot of time miserably worrying about what's wrong with you?"

"It is your right to take back your misery if you want it."

"Live and Let Live'... has proved beneficial in so many ways."

"Learning to live with differences is essential to our comfort."

"It pays to make a very special effort to try to understand other people, especially anyone who rubs us the wrong way."

"We never let ourselves get so resentful toward someone else that we allow that person to control our lives—especially to the extent of causing us to drink."

"'Let live'—yes. But some of us find just as much value in the first part of the slogan: 'Live'!"

When we have worked out ways to enjoy our own living fully, then we are content to let other people live any way they want.

Staying sober opens up the way to life and happiness. It is worth sacrificing many a grudge or argument.

Simply trying to avoid a drink (or not think of one), all by itself, doesn't seem to be enough.

To stay stopped, we've found we need to put in place of the drinking a positive program of action.

We try to develop a healthy respect for the power of alcohol, instead of a fear of it.

No one has to do such things, of course. In AA, no one is ever required to do, or not do, anything.

Helping out with these easy little physical tasks does not mean you become the group's janitor or custodian.

These simple, menial chores and the commitment... to do them faithfully have had unexpectedly good effects on many of us.

In AA, no one is 'above' or 'below' anyone else. There are no classes or strata or hierarchies among the members.

If studying gets to be a drag, though, don't hesitate to drop it. You have the right to change your mind and quit anything that is more of a hassle than it's worth.

We feel much better about ourselves when we contribute even a small service for the benefit of our fellow human beings.

Not everything we do has to be an earnest effort at self-improvement.

Find something else nonalcoholic that rewards you with nothing but sheer enjoyment, and have some 'dry' fun.

The Serenity Prayer offers a simple prescription for a healthy emotional life.

We could change ourselves.

Yes, that did take courage.

The further away we get from the last drink, the more beautiful and the more packed with meaning these few lines become.

A little wisdom comes into play.

Better concentrate on not taking that first drink.

Do I have to stick with it, or can I quit?

Serenity is like a gyroscope that lets us keep our balance no matter what turbulence swirls around us.

A clear-eyed, realistic way of seeing the world, accompanied by inner peace and strength.

When you want not to drink, it helps to shake up all those routines and change the pieces around.

It makes good sense to head in a different direction for lunch, and it's especially helpful to eat with other nondrinkers.

Testing your willpower in a matter involving health seems pretty silly when it is not necessary.

For some of us, this has also meant forgoing, at least for a while, the company of our hard-drinking buddies.

Those who really love us, it seems, encourage our efforts to stay well.

Let’s see. How can I learn to accept the job serenely?

A change in brands of toothpaste and mouthwash gave us a fresh, different taste to start out with.

Many of us found it useful to look back at the habits surrounding our drinking and change a lot of the small things connected with drinking.

We learned to vary our diet to include foods not closely associated with alcohol.

We found it helped to shift to another room and other activities.

It paid to plan a different kind of trip or holiday for a while.

We just applied that skill to devising a graceful way of saying, "No, thank you."

It was never the availability of the beverage that led us to drink.

If no alcohol is handy, if we'd have to go out and buy it, we at least have a chance to recognize what we're about to do.

The sum total of all such alterations in pattern has given many of us an astonishingly powerful propulsion toward newly vigorous health.

You can have such a boost, too, if you want it.

Many of us have learned that something sweet-tasting, or almost any nourishing food or snack, seems to dampen a bit the desire for a drink.

We remind each other never to get too hungry.

Maybe it's just imagination, but the yen for a shot does seem to be sharper when the stomach is empty.

Eating or drinking something sweet allays the urge to drink.

Many of us are advised by our doctors to take supplemental vitamins. So perhaps many of us simply need nourishment more than we realize.

Better to be chubby or pleasingly plump than drunk, right?

With a little patience and sound judgment, the weight situation usually straightens itself out.

When we wanted to drink, we could telephone someone more experienced in sobriety than we were.

It is a rewarding and gratifying thing to be trusted that much.

What we were doing, and what we wanted to do, we found we were perfectly understood.

We are free to be ourselves among people who share our own concern for the maintenance of a happy sobriety.

Once the first call is made, it is much, much easier to make another, when it is needed.

"We reach for the phone instead of a drink. Even when we don't think it will work. Even when we don't want to."

"The fact is that the sponsor has been sober longer, knows pitfalls to avoid, and may be right."

"A sponsor is simply a sober alcoholic who can help solve only one problem: how to stay sober."

"Sponsors make house calls, even at night."

"They certainly have had more experience. Remembering their own condition, they reach out to help, not down."

"Being open about ourselves helps prevent that, and can be a good antidote for any tendency toward excessive self-concern and self-consciousness."

"When we really level about our distress, true empathy is forthcoming."

"Sometimes, we get really needed encouragement from recovered alcoholics we do not much care for."

"If we genuinely desire help, we do not let a sponsor's illness, or momentary unavailability for any other reason, stop us from getting some help."

"We can try to find a nearby AA meeting. We can read AA literature or something else we have found helpful."

The hand that pours a drink down your gullet is still your own.

You are under no obligation ever to repay your sponsor in any way for helping you.

A good sponsor is as much helped as the person being sponsored.

That's the only thanks you need give.

A wise sponsor can let the newcomer alone, when necessary.

A sharp sponsor tries hard to keep vanity and hurt feelings out of the way in sponsorship.

The best sponsors are really delighted when the newcomer is able to step out past the stage of being sponsored.

Happy flying!

It is very important to get plenty of rest when we stop drinking.

When your body is tired enough, you'll sleep.

Rather than toss and turn and fret about it, some of us give in to it, get up, and get some reading and writing done in the wee hours.

Even if we do not fall asleep at once, we can rest by lying still with the eyes closed.

Sleeping medicines of any sort are not the answer for alcoholics.

Once we are past the temporary unease, when a natural sleep rhythm sets in, we can see that the price was eminently worth it.

Sobriety is better, even to dream about.

The beauty of sober sleep, once it is achieved, is the sheer pleasure of waking up—no real hangover, no worries about what may have happened in last night's blackout.

We can report only that such dreams may occur, so don't be too surprised.

Above all other concerns, we must remember that we cannot drink.

Not drinking is the first order of business for us, anywhere, any time, under any circumstances.

This is strictly a matter of survival for us.

If we do not save our health—our lives—then certainly we will have no family, no job, and no friends.

If we value family, job, and friends, we must first save our own lives in order to cherish all three.

Unless we held on to our sobriety, we knew, no cleaning would get done, no calls made, no letters written.

The rhythm of our own special routine has a soothing effect.

Alcoholism has been described as 'the lonely disease,' and very few recovered alcoholics argue the point.

We discover—but can hardly dare to believe right at first—that we are not alone.

The brittle shell of protective and fearful egocentricity we have dwelled in so long is cracked open by the honesty of other recovered alcoholics.

It is not just another false start, of the sort that most of us have experienced too often.

We are accustomed to acting like loners.

When we feel such awkwardness, we might think we were pathetic, even grotesque—were it not for the many rooms full of understanding AA people.

We do not have to give up in secret shame any more; we do not have to renew our old, hopeless attempts to find social confidence in the bottle, where we found loneliness instead.

It is far more sensible, safer, and surer to do it in the company of the whole happy fleet going in the same direction.

A crutch is a beautiful thing to those who need it, and to those who see its usefulness.

Mutual helpfulness—since it always works better—really should be more prized and admired.

Despite our great need and desire, none of us recovered from alcoholism solely on our own.

Our own experience at staying sober overwhelmingly reflects the wisdom of using whatever good help is available in recovery from a drinking problem.

Thoughts of a drink seem to sneak into our minds much more smoothly and slyly when we are alone.

Almost any company is better than a bitter privacy.

Even if we actually have been treated shabbily or unjustly, resentment is a luxury that, as alcoholics, we cannot afford.

Pondering 'Live and Let Live' cools our temper.

When a loved one or a dear friend of ours is recuperating from a serious illness, we generally try to give what good nurses call T.L.C. (Tender Loving Care).

Convalescence from the illness of active alcoholism takes some time, and anyone going through it deserves consideration and a measure of T.L.C.

Now that we know alcoholism is not immoral behavior, we have found it essential to readjust our attitudes.

We have learned that one of the persons least likely to treat the alcoholic like a sick person is, somewhat surprisingly, the alcoholic herself (or himself).

Once again, our old thinking habits are cropping up.

It's often said that problem drinkers are perfectionists, impatient about any shortcomings, especially our own.

That is precisely where we can start being good—at least fair—to ourselves.

What would we do if a sick loved one or friend got discouraged about slow recuperation progress, and began to refuse medicine?

No one becomes an alcoholic in just a few weeks...We cannot expect to recover in a magic instant, either.

We should settle for small progress, rather than bemoan any lack of perfection.

What can we do right now to cheer ourselves up? We can do something other than take a drink.

Now is the time, the only time there is.

If we are not kind to ourselves right now, we certainly cannot rightfully expect respect or consideration from others.

We have found we can enjoy, sober, every good thing we enjoyed while drinking—and many, many more.

To do so is not selfish, but self-protective.

Unless we cherish our own recovery, we cannot survive to become unselfish, ethical, and socially responsible people.

Be especially cautious during moments of celebration or times of just feeling extraordinarily good.

One drink begins to seem less threatening, and we start thinking that it wouldn't be fatal, or even harmful.

Taking a shot of ethanol has so long been closely associated in our culture with fun and good times.

No situation gives us a 'dispensation' from our alcoholism.

The thought of a drink is not necessarily the same thing as the desire for one.

Both can be viewed simply as warning bells to remind us of the perils of alcoholism.

It is not always easy for us to put down an unfinished page, chapter, or book we are reading.

In getting over a destructive obsession such as drinking, it's sensible to replace it with a benign one.

'Easy Does It' is one way we AA's remind each other that many of us have tendencies at times to overdo things.

Such pressure does not push most drinkers into alcoholism, as anyone can see.

But those of us who did often find we share a need to learn how to relax.

how to enjoy small gains and even the simple pleasures along the way.

Sometimes, it pays to stand still and gaze at it, for the refreshment of the long look.

We could learn a great deal about this from certain recovered cardiac patients.

"What a relief to find the honest answer is frequently no!"

"How much does it really matter?"

"If a strong inner core of peace, patience, and contentment looks at all desirable to you, it can be had."

"Easy Does It" is this day's ideal speed.

"We have much more control over our thinking."

"Feeling gratitude is far more wholesome, makes staying sober much easier."

"It is not difficult to develop the habit of gratitude if we just make some effort."

"Life was meant to be enjoyed, and we mean to enjoy it."

"A sincere 'I don't know' can be rejuvenating."

"We have found that easy little changes are a good starting point for a big strong recovery."

We could have invested some time in searching out things we did like in AA, ways we could go along with it, statements and ideas we did agree with.

Staying sober can boil down to just such a choice, we have learned.

We can spend hours thinking of reasons that we want or need or intend to take a drink.

Or we can spend the same time listing reasons that drinking is not good for us and abstaining is more healthful.

Each of us makes that choice in their or their own way.

We keep being grateful that we are free to do it in the ways described here.

The anticipations were fully met by the desired drink.

Those were the ways some of us began to drink, and if that had been the whole truth of our drinking history, it is unlikely that we could have developed much of a drinking problem.

A searching, fearless look at our complete drinking record, however, shows that in the last years and months our drinking never created those perfect, magic moments again.

It must be doing something right!

"A drink pretty surely means a drunk sooner or later, and that spells trouble."

"Drinking for us no longer means music and gay laughter and flirtations. It means sickness and sorrow."

"In exchange for that drink, what I would plunk down now is my bank account, my family, our home, our car, my job, my sanity, and probably my life. It's too big a price, too big a risk."

"Some of us believe we have become 'addictive' people, and our experience gives reinforcing support to that concept."

"It's as if 'addiction proneness' was a condition inside us, not a quality of the drug itself."

"We have generally concluded, for ourselves only, that drinking is not good for us, and we have found ways of living without it which we much prefer to our drunken days."

"Drugs will often reawaken the old craving for 'oral magic,' or some kind of high, or peace."

"It's surely wise to tell our doctor, dentist, and hospital anesthesiologist the whole truth about our former drinking..."

"They enjoyed the effects and for months was able to use it on social occasions without any problem at all."

"Not all who have similarly experimented with marijuana have made it back into sobriety. For some...their original addiction progressed to the point of death."

Through Alcoholics Anonymous, we have found a drug-free way of life which, to us, is far more satisfying than any we ever experienced with mood-changing substances.

The chemical "magic" we felt from alcohol was all locked within our own heads, anyhow.

Now, we enjoy sharing with one another in AA—or with anybody outside AA—our natural, undoped happiness.

When we feel more comfortable without chemical substances than we felt while we were dependent on them, we come to accept and trust our normal feelings, whether high or low.

Sitting in our own pool of tears is not a very effective action.

We need to pull out of our self-absorption, stand back, and take a good, honest look at ourselves.

When we catch self-pity starting, we also can take action against it with instant bookkeeping.

For every entry of misery on the debit side, we find a blessing we can mark on the credit side.

The shared laughter takes a lot of the pain out of it, and the final effect is salutary.

Instead, we add up the other side of the ledger, in gratitude for health, for loved ones.

Your need for a helping hand is no sign of weakness and no cause for shame.

Pride that prevents one's taking an encouraging boost from a professional helper is phony.

The more mature one becomes, the more willing one is to use the best possible advice and help.

Fortunately, we have found no conflict between AA ideas and the good advice of a professional with expert understanding of alcoholism.

The absolutely perfect doctor, pastor, or lawyer, who never makes a mistake, has not come along yet.

Alcohol is cunning and baffling.

It can force anyone in its chains to behave in a self-destructive manner, against their own better judgment and true desires.

If we now find ourselves sober but still trying to second-guess the really expert professionals, it can be taken as a warning signal.

Our addiction to alcohol was simply protecting itself against any inroads by health agents.

Examining 'case histories' of recovered alcoholics, we can see clearly that all of us have profited from the specialized services of...professional people.

Each of us has to accept final responsibility for their or their own action or inaction.

The decision to get and use professional help is ultimately your own.

We respect your right to make them—and to change your mind when developments so warrant.

How could they? They have not had the personal, firsthand experience we have had with alcoholism.

This is not to say that they are right and we are wrong, or vice versa.

May you have the same good fortune in these regards that so many of us have had.

Falling in love with your doctor or nurse or a fellow patient is an old romantic story.

Sorrow is born in the hasty heart.

Alcohol certainly did not ripen our comprehension of mature love.

The first non-drinking days are likely to be periods of great emotional vulnerability.

"Going back to drinking appears an attractive 'remedy,' which leads to even worse trouble."

"Almost no important decisions should be arrived at early in our sobriety, unless they cannot possibly be delayed."

"We have to stay sober for ourselves, no matter what other people do or fail to do."

"It is easy to consider yourself an exception to this generalization."

"Using 'First Things First,' we have found it helpful to concentrate first on sobriety alone."

"Immature or premature liaisons are crippling to recovery."

"After we have had time to mature somewhat beyond merely not drinking, we are equipped to relate maturely to other people."

"When our sobriety has a foundation firm enough to withstand stress, then we are ready to work through and straighten out other aspects of our lives."

"A lot of our daydreams started out, 'If only...'"

"Each of us thought: I wouldn't be drinking this way... if only..."

When we first stop drinking, a lot of those circumstances recede to their proper places in our minds.

Our life is much, much better sober, no matter what else may be going on.

Alcoholism respects no ifs.

We have to keep our sobriety independent of everything else, not entangled with any people.

Tying up our sobriety to any person or to any circumstance is foolish and dangerous.

Our sobriety can grow strong enough to enable us to cope with anything—and everybody.

We do not have to keep up any pretenses.

Saying aloud to other people that we do not drink helps greatly to strengthen our own determination to stay sober.

Most good people appreciate our honesty and encourage our efforts to stay free of our addiction.

No one is under any obligation to answer rude or personal questions.

It is better to try to grin and bear it, getting past the moment somehow.

When we can tell this with ease, it shows that we have nothing to hide.

It helps to increase our self-respect.

Our old ideas—especially those about alcohol—prove either worthless or actually self-destructive for us.

We can now measure the present-day usefulness and truthfulness of a thought against a highly specific standard.

Did our own way of drinking improve our social relationships?

We finally became willing to entertain the thought that—just possibly—some of those ideas could be a bit erroneous.

It takes considerable courage to stare unblinkingly at the hard truth.

Weakness? Actually, it takes considerable courage to...without excuses, and without kidding ourselves.

The misuse of this drug can...lead to problems of all sorts—physical, psychological, domestic, social, financial.

We are not anybody else. We are only ourselves.

Willpower all by itself is about as effective a cure for alcohol addiction as it is for cancer.

It wasn't easy to admit we needed help.

Wouldn't it be more intelligent to seek out and tap a strength greater than our own?

We didn't get sober entirely on our own.

The full enjoyment of living sober isn't a one-person job, either.

When we could look, even temporarily, at just a few new ideas different from our old ones, we had already begun to make a sturdy start toward a happy, healthier new life.

Simply reading the book was enough to sober up some people in AA's early days.

Regular readers of the book say that repeated readings reveal many deeper meanings that cannot be grasped at the first hurried glance.

It is impossible to understand all the workings of AA unless one is well acquainted with all these publications.

You can easily do the same thing, free, and you don't have to 'join' anything.

What we did was simply go to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.

If all you want to do is sort of 'try out' AA, you are entirely welcome to attend AA meetings as an observer.

You won't have to sign anything, or answer any questions.

Chances of not drinking are better at an AA meeting than they are in a drinking situation.

Here, perhaps more than anywhere else, you are surrounded by people who understand drinking.

At meetings like this, many AA members have heard the very tips on recovery they were looking for.

One surely learns in such discussions that no alcoholic is unique or alone.

We have found it quite important, especially in the beginning, to attend meetings faithfully.

We cannot let anything keep us from AA meetings, either, if we really want to recover.

In the first few weeks without a drink, when the wolf is at the door, and the sheriffs at the window, life looks bleak and hopeless.

It's time to spend, in certain ways, to solve the awful tangle.

All these are wise investments for the neophyte to make.

This 'bread,' when cast upon the waters, always comes back cake.

When all else fails, follow directions.

They stumbled onto an astonishing fact: When each of them tried to help the other, the result was sobriety.

The effort was worthwhile, because, in each case, the would-be helper stayed sober even if the 'patient' kept on drinking.

They realized in 1937 that 20 of them were sober! They cannot be blamed for thinking a miracle had happened.

Their number has grown to more than two million.

Our path is open to all comers.

You need not take any second-hand opinions, because you can get the straight dope, free, and make up your own mind.

The trick we learned was to put that will to work for our health, and to make ourselves explore recovery ideas at great depth.

Trying to heal ourselves by helping others works, even when it is an insincere gesture.

We do not find jokes told at the expense of sick problem drinkers funny.

Most of us have seen death close up. We have known the kind of suffering that wrenches the bones.

And we hope this booklet has conveyed to you more encouragement than pain.

If you continue to want to get well, and remain willing to try new approaches, our experience convinces us that you have embarked with hundreds of thousands of companions on the path of a happy, healthy destiny.

Whatever track you travel, along with us or on your own, you go with our strongest good wishes.

If in doubt, consult a physician with demonstrated experience in the treatment of alcoholism.

It becomes clear that just as it is wrong to enable or support any alcoholic to become re-addicted to any drug, it's equally wrong to deprive any alcoholic of medication which can alleviate or control other disabling physical and/or emotional problems.