Best Quotes from The Book Of General Ignorance by John Lloyd with Page Numbers

THERE IS REALLY NO SUCH THING AS BAD WEATHER, ONLY DIFFERENT KINDS OF GOOD WEATHER.

IF YOU THINK YOU ARE TOO SMALL TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, TRY SLEEPING IN A CLOSED ROOM WITH A MOSQUITO.

SEEK KNOWLEDGE, EVEN IF IT BE IN CHINA.

THE MORE I SEE OF THE MONEYED CLASSES, THE MORE I UNDERSTAND THE GUILLOTINE.

ONE DAY THERE WILL BE A TELEPHONE IN EVERY MAJOR CITY IN THE USA.

I CONFESS THAT NOTHING FRIGHTENS ME MORE THAN THE APPEARANCE OF MUSHROOMS ON THE TABLE, ESPECIALLY IN A SMALL PROVINCIAL TOWN.

A HOLY MAN IN THE RUSSIAN NORTH SAID, "THERE’S NOTHING MORE DEADLY THAN WAKING UP TO FIND YOURSELF IN THE PAST."

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO TEST ACCURATELY HOW LONG A SEVERED HEAD REMAINS CONSCIOUS, IF AT ALL.

WHAT HAS A THREE-SECOND MEMORY? NOT A GOLDFISH, FOR STARTERS.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT NOT TO BE ENJOYED; AND IF YOU ENJOY IT —YOU CAN'T HELP BUT SHARE IT.

THERE ARE THREE THINGS THAT ARE EXTREMELY HARD: STEEL, A DIAMOND, AND TO KNOW ONE’S SELF. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.

NOTHING EXISTS EXCEPT ATOMS AND EMPTY SPACE; EVERYTHING ELSE IS OPINION. DEMOCRITOS OF ABDERA.

BEFORE THE CURSE OF STATISTICS FELL UPON MANKIND WE LIVED A HAPPY, INNOCENT LIFE, FULL OF MERRIMENT AND GO AND INFORMED BY FAIRLY GOOD JUDGMENT. HILAIRE BELLOC.

ISUPPOSE NOBODY HAS EVER BEEN STRUCK A DIRECT BLOW BY A RABBIT. AT LEAST, NOT DELIBERATELY. SIR WILLIAM CONNOR.

What’s three times as dangerous as war? Work is a bigger killer than alcohol, drugs, or war.

NO CALL ALLIGATOR LONG MOUTH TILL YOU CROSS THE RIVER. JAMAICAN PROVERB.

But the real boom in sales has come in the last fifty years, as adult shops take advantage of the thriving bondage market.

Even scrupulous publications such as the Washington Post were caught out.

THE SPANISH FOR SLOTH IS PEREZOSO, “THE SLOTHFUL ONE,” NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH PEREZOSA WHICH MEANS “DECKCHAIR.”

The universe in general, as far as we can tell, is as under-populated as the atom itself.

It’s an incredibly faint shade, but it is blue.

The color spectrum is divided in a completely different way.

HOW INAPPROPRIATE TO CALL THIS PLANET EARTH WHEN CLEARLY IT IS OCEAN.

DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH. LIBERTY IS A WELL-ARMED LAMB CONTESTING THE VOTE.

THE MISSING LINK BETWEEN ANIMALS AND THE REAL HUMAN BEING IS MOST LIKELY OURSELVES.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GOOD SHOT AND A BAD SHOT IS WHETHER IT GOES IN OR NOT.

YOU CAN GET MUCH FURTHER WITH A KIND WORD AND A GUN THAN YOU CAN WITH A KIND WORD ALONE.

THE GREATEST OF ALL INVENTORS IS ACCIDENT.

Life should not be estimated exclusively by the standard of dollars and cents.

There is always something larger or smaller.

LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND—ISN’T THAT WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK? STEVENWRIGHT

TO SEE WHAT IS IN FRONT OF ONE’S NOSE REQUIRES CONSTANT STRUGGLE. GEORGEORWELL

CATS ARE INTENDED TO TEACH US THAT NOT EVERYTHING IN NATURE HAS A FUNCTION. GARRISONKEILLOR

ONE SOMETIMES FINDS WHAT ONE IS NOT LOOKING FOR. ALEXANDERFLEMING

THE FACT THAT SOME GENIUSES WERE LAUGHED AT DOES NOT IMPLY THAT ALL WHO ARE LAUGHED AT ARE GENIUSES. THEY LAUGHED AT COLUMBUS, THEY LAUGHED AT FULTON, THEY LAUGHED AT THE WRIGHT BROTHERS. BUT THEY ALSO LAUGHED AT BOZO THE CLOWN. CARLSAGAN

AHEN IS ONLY AN EGG’S WAY OF MAKING ANOTHER EGG. SAMUELBUTLER

MY ONLY REGRET IN LIFE IS THAT I DID NOT DRINK MORE CHAMPAGNE. JOHNMAYNARDKEYNES

ANTS ARE SO MUCH LIKE HUMAN BEINGS AS TO BE AN EMBARRASSMENT. THEY FARM FUNGI, RAISE APHIDS AS LIVESTOCK, LAUNCH ARMIES INTO WAR, USE CHEMICAL SPRAYS TO ALARM AND CONFUSE ENEMIES, CAPTURE SLAVES, ENGAGE IN CHILD LABOR, EXCHANGE INFORMATION CEASELESSLY. THEY DO EVERTHING BUT WATCH TELEVISION. LEWISTHOMAS

SPACE ISN’T REMOTE AT ALL. IT’S ONLY AN HOUR’S DRIVE AWAY IF YOUR CAR COULD GO STRAIGHT UPWARDS. FREDHOYLER

With such astonishing potential, whatever percentage of our brains we use, we could all, clearly, do a little better.

What we call intelligence requires both to work together at high speed.

The output (intelligence) is the same, but the way it is produced is very different.

Using drugs leads your brain to stop producing its own dopamine almost completely. By training yourself to be positive you can make yourself cheerful again.

What is said when drunk has been thought out beforehand.

If you don’t mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream.

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

It’s amazing how it cheers one up to shred oranges and scrub the floor.

Man cannot make a worm, yet he will make gods by the dozen.

A carrot is a carrot and we know nothing more.

Every scientific truth goes through three stages. First, people say it conflicts with the Bible. Next they say it had been discovered before. Last, they say they always believed in it.

Even what can appear to be the most common, small, and simple of objects, can reveal itself to be on its own terms as complex and grand as a space shuttle or a great suspension bridge.

We are all sandless. We are all ignorant. There are beaches and deserts and dunes of knowledge whose existence we have never even guessed at, let alone visited.

The human brain is the most complex single object in the cosmos.

What we need is a treasure house, not of knowledge, but of ignorance. Something that gives not answers but questions.

The really interesting questions aren’t like that. What is life? Nobody knows. What is light? Or love? Or laughter?

In the words of W. H. Auden, 'Those who run to the apes to explain our behavior are chuckleheads too dumb to know their arse from a hole in the ground.'

Human beings evolved during the last Ice Age. Toward the end of it, as the temperature rose, there were vast catastrophic rises in sea level caused by the melting ice caps.

Those who said, 'Hang on, I think we might be ignorant, let’s see…' were made to drink poison, or had their eyes put out.

We think we know the answer: Ask more questions.