Best Quotes from The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman with Page Numbers

Love is the most important word in the English language—and the most confusing.

Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our plight in life.

All human accomplishments that are not motivated by love are, in the end, empty.

Inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled with love.

Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘love tank.’

The emotional need for love...follows us into adulthood and into marriage.

Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love.

At the heart of mankind’s existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another.

Could the misbehavior, withdrawal, harsh words, and critical spirit occur because of that empty tank?

Whatever the quality of your marriage now, it can always be better.

I’m getting married!”

I know it’s crazy, but I am so happy. I have never been this happy in my life.

Most of us enter marriage by way of the 'in love' experience.

The reality of human nature reveals that we are not totally altruistic.

We will always have the wonderful feelings that we have at this moment.

We can recognize the in-love experience for what it was—a temporary emotional high.

Our dreams before marriage are of marital bliss.

I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me.

True love cannot begin until the 'in love' experience has run its course.

Love is the attitude that says, 'I am married to you, and I choose to look out for your interests.'

"I can live for two months on a good compliment."

"The tongue has the power of life and death."

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."

"The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love."

"Verbal compliments are far greater motivators than nagging words."

"Encouraging words may give your spouse the courage necessary to take that first step."

"Love is kind. If then we are to communicate love verbally, we must use kind words."

"A soft answer turns away anger."

"Forgiveness is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender."

"If you make a request of your spouse, you are affirming his or her worth and abilities."

‘What good is the house and the recreational vehicle and all the other things if we don’t ever enjoy them together?’

When you spend time that way, ABC or NBC has your attention—not your spouse.

We will never have those twenty minutes again; we are giving our lives to each other.

What makes one person feel loved emotionally is not always the thing that makes another person feel loved emotionally.

Her love tank is empty. She doesn’t feel secure in your love.

Togetherness has to do with focused attention.

The important thing emotionally is that we are spending focused time with each other.

Emotionally, she longed for him to focus attention on her by listening to her pain and frustration.

We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.

Quality activities may include anything in which one or both of you have an interest.

A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, "Look, he was thinking of me," or, "She remembered me."

Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than to others.

It doesn’t matter whether it costs money. What is important is that you thought of him.

The lonely rings stirred deep emotions within the husband.

Gifts need not be expensive, nor must they be given weekly.

Your body becomes the symbol of your love. Remove the symbol, and the sense of love evaporates.

Each of us has an individualized perception of the purposes of money.

Almost everything ever written on the subject of love indicates that at the heart of love is the spirit of giving.

For some individuals, their worth has nothing to do with monetary value and everything to do with love.

If receiving gifts is his/her primary love language, almost anything you give will be received as an expression of love.

Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.

What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.

Love is a choice and cannot be coerced.

Once they decided to make requests of each other rather than demands, their marriage began to turn around.

People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.

Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything.

When we treat our spouses as objects, we preclude the possibility of love.

A willingness to examine and change stereotypes is necessary in order to express love more effectively.

It is not good for you or me.

Learning the primary love language of your spouse and choosing to speak it makes a tremendous difference in the emotional climate of a marriage.

To touch my body is to touch me.

Physical touch can make or break a relationship.

In our society shaking hands is a way of communicating openness and social closeness to another individual.

Your words may mean little, but your physical touch will communicate that you care.

Nothing is more important than holding her as she cries.

Crises provide a unique opportunity for expressing love.

Your tender touches will be remembered long after the crisis has passed.

Discovering that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse is a vital revelation.

This age is characterized as the age of sexual openness and freedom.

Running the hand through the hair, giving a back rub, holding hands, embracing, sexual intercourse—all of those and other 'love touches' are the emotional lifeline.

Discovering the primary love language of your spouse is essential if you are to keep his/her emotional love tank full.

Most sexual problems in marriage have little to do with physical technique but everything to do with meeting emotional needs.

If your primary love language is used negatively by your spouse, it will hurt you more deeply than it would hurt someone else.

Your method of expressing love may be an indication that that would also make you feel loved.

What have you most often requested of your spouse? The thing you have most often requested is likely the thing that would make you feel most loved.

If you can conjure up those memories, it will give you some idea of your primary love language.

The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language.

When she tells me how much she appreciates me and admires me, my natural sexual desires are turned toward her.

If you play the game for three weeks, you will be hooked on it, and it can be a playful way of stimulating love expressions in your marriage.

The love you feel when your wife expresses love by physical touch is the same love your wife feels when you do the laundry.

Love is a choice.

We are creatures of choice. That means that we have the capacity to make poor choices, which all of us have done.

Poor choices in the past don’t mean that we must make them in the future.

Instead we can say, “I’m sorry. I know I have hurt you, but I would like to make the future different.

Love doesn’t erase the past, but it makes the future different.

When we choose active expressions of love in the primary love language of our spouse, we create an emotional climate where we can deal with our past conflicts and failures.

Meeting my wife’s need for love is a choice I make each day.

If I learn the emotional love language of my spouse and speak it frequently, she will continue to feel loved.

We discover the primary love language of our spouse, and we choose to speak it whether or not it is natural for us.

We want to meet our spouse’s emotional need, and we reach out to speak his love language.

Love is not our only emotional need.

If I feel loved by my spouse, I can relax, knowing that my lover will do me no ill.

My sense of self-worth is fed by the fact that my spouse loves me.

Feeling loved by a spouse enhances our sense of significance.

When I experience love, it impacts all of those needs positively.

True love always liberates.

Love is not the answer to everything, but it creates a climate of security.

In the security of love, a couple can discuss differences without condemnation.

The decision to love your spouse holds tremendous potential.

Can emotional love be reborn in a marriage? You bet.

"Is it possible to love someone whom you hate?"

"Our choice to love was made in the midst of negative feelings toward each other."

"The emotional need for love is our deepest emotional need; and when that need is being met, we tend to respond positively to the person who is meeting it."

"It seems to me that you are torn between your religious and moral beliefs... and your emotional pain..."

"When the tank is low... we have no love feelings toward our spouse but simply experience emptiness and pain."

"If you claim to have feelings that you do not have, that is hypocritical. But if you express an act of love that is designed for the other person’s benefit or pleasure, it is simply a choice."

"Jesus is stating a principle, not a way to manipulate people. Generally speaking, if we are kind and loving toward people, they will tend to be kind and loving toward us."

"I would like to propose a six-month experiment."

"If your spouse starts speaking your love language by responding to your requests, your positive emotions toward him will return, and in time your marriage will be reborn."

"Love is a miracle worker."

The difference between buying a ball glove and playing ball with a child may be the difference between an empty love tank and a full one.

Sincerity is not enough. We must learn to speak the primary love language of our children if we are to meet their emotional need for love.

Our negative, critical, demeaning words strike terror to the psyche.

If your child is often expressing appreciation for ordinary acts of service, that is a clue that they are emotionally important to him or her.

You need not have lots of money in order to provide gifts for your children.

The words of affirmation we provide as children can leave a lasting impact on self-esteem and feelings of being unloved.

Observing how children express love to others can reveal their own primary love language.

It is never too late to express love, and communication can mend old wounds.

Many misbehaviors in children and teenagers can be traced to empty love tanks.

When family members start speaking each other’s primary love language, the emotional climate of a family is greatly enhanced.

I am convinced that no single area of marriage affects the rest of marriage as much as meeting the emotional need for love.

When the emotional need for love is met, it creates a climate where the couple can deal with the rest of life in a much more productive manner.

The ability to love, especially when your spouse is not loving you, may seem impossible for some.

Such love may require us to draw upon our spiritual resources.

I have found that He provides the inner spiritual energy to love, even when love is not reciprocated.

I believe that the concepts in this book could make an impact upon the marriages and families of our country.

I hope that thousands of those couples will not only rediscover their dream but will see the path to making their dreams come true.

I dream of a day when the potential of the married couples in this country can be unleashed for the good of humankind.

It is my desire that this brief volume will kindle the flame of love in your marriage and in the marriages of thousands of other couples like you.

Together we may see our dream come true.