The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down

Haemin Sunim

Summary
summary
Quote
summary
Q&A
summary

Last updated on 2025/05/03

The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down Summary

Haemin Sunim

Finding peace in a fast-paced world.

start
start
start
start
start
4.0632,136 ratings (Goodreads reference)
xfacebook
share

Description

The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down
pages

How many pages in The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down?

288 pages

first time

What is the release date for The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down?

First published 2012-00-13

In a world that often propels us forward with relentless speed and chaos, Haemin Sunim's "The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down" invites us to pause and reflect on the quiet wisdom hidden in stillness. Through a collection of thoughtful insights and gentle reminders, Sunim, a Buddhist monk, encourages readers to embrace the present moment, cultivate self-compassion, and nurture connections with ourselves and others. By taking the time to slow down, we open ourselves to the beauty of simplicity and the profound lessons that lie in our everyday experiences. This book serves as a calming guide for those looking to find peace amidst life's clutter, urging us to rediscover the joy in simply being.

Author Haemin Sunim

Haemin Sunim is a prominent Buddhist teacher and bestselling author, renowned for his ability to bridge the gap between ancient wisdom and contemporary life. Born in South Korea, he has gained international recognition for his teachings that emphasize mindfulness, compassion, and the importance of slowing down in a fast-paced world. Sunim's unique perspective is shaped by his experiences as both a monk and a scholar, and he beautifully weaves together personal anecdotes with profound insights that resonate with readers of all backgrounds. His book, "The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down," invites individuals to reflect on their lives and find peace amidst chaos, making his work a comforting guide for navigating the complexities of modern existence.

The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down Summary |Free PDF Download

The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down

Chapter 1 | Rest

In a fast-paced world, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and question the source of our busyness. Often, we assume that the external hustle is to blame, but the reality reveals a deeper connection between our minds and the world around us. This connection challenges the common perception that our "mind" and the "world" operate independently. In truth, our experiences and feelings are profoundly shaped by our perceptions, reminding us that our reality is not an objective truth but a subjective framework constructed by our consciousness. 1. The Origin of Experience: The separation between our internal thoughts and external reality is largely illusory. According to Buddha’s teachings, our feelings stem from how our minds interpret the world. Our perceptions influence how we react to everything around us—joy and sorrow manifest not from the world itself but from how our minds project feelings onto it. Thus, if we can direct our mental focus wisely, we can alter our experience of reality. 2. The Mind's Influence: Reflecting on a conversation with a mindful friend, a Buddhist nun, reveals critical insights into awareness. She noted that when we fixate on certain details in our environment—like tiles or floors during construction—we see only the aspects that align with our interests. Our view of the world is selective, shaped by what captures our attention. This ability to focus is central; we can reshape our experience of the world based on how we train our minds. 3. Personal Reflection on Busyness: As a Zen monk and professor with a demanding schedule, the author reflects on the nature of his busy life. Upon introspection, he realizes that it is often his mind that feels overwhelmed rather than the environment itself. Enjoying the connections and joy from teaching and having deep conversations, he embraces his responsibilities while recognizing that stress often arises not from the tasks at hand but from his perceptions surrounding them. 4. Mindfulness and Perspective: Embracing the teachings of Buddhism, he emphasizes that our state of mind deeply impacts our experience of life. If our minds are peaceful, the world can reflect that serenity; if consumed by negativity, our view of the world will also appear dark. By simply acknowledging our emotions—stress, anger, or irritation—we can gain distance from them, allowing them to flow rather than gripping them tightly. 5. The Power of Acceptance and Growth: When faced with disappointment or emotional pain, the author suggests taking moments to rest and reflect, encouraging readers to embrace their humanity. By practicing self-compassion, sharing experiences with friends, or openly expressing emotions, such as through laughter or music, individuals can navigate their feelings more effectively. Additionally, it is crucial to allow time for healing—much like food unsticking from a frying pan—emotions can resolve themselves if given space. 6. The Importance of Gratitude and Connection: In moments of discontent, shifting our perspective towards gratitude can transform our outlook. Recognizing the connections we share with others alleviates feelings of isolation, reinforcing our interconnectedness. Acts of kindness cultivate self-worth, suggesting that by focusing on helping others, we not only elevate spirits but also buffer our emotional challenges. In essence, the journey through life and its complexities forces us to navigate perceptions and emotions. By training our focus, practicing mindfulness, and fostering compassion towards ourselves and others, we can cultivate a more harmonious relationship with both our inner worlds and the realities we encounter. This interplay of mind and external experiences ultimately guides us toward a more peaceful and enriched existence.

example
expend

Chapter 2 | Mindfulness

In his insightful exploration of emotions, Haemin Sunim emphasizes the importance of befriending our feelings rather than trying to suppress or control them. The journey begins with awareness; recognizing and acknowledging negative emotions like anger, hatred, or jealousy is already a significant step towards emotional understanding. Many struggle with their emotions, often seeking to manage or overcome these feelings. Sunim suggests that such approaches do not lead to resolution; instead, they often result in deeper entanglement with one's feelings. 1. The key to truly addressing negative emotions involves separating the raw energy of these feelings from the labels society assigns to them. When we can observe our emotions without attachment to their labels, we see that they are transient, coming and going like clouds in the sky. Sunim encourages us to adopt a reflective stance akin to a mirror, observing our inner turmoil without judgment. By doing so, we can witness the transformation of these emotions without forcing them to change. 2. Rather than fighting against our emotions, which only leads to further frustration, we must embrace the process of observation. This active witnessing reveals that emotions are not constants; they swirl and shift until they either evolve into different feelings or dissipate altogether. Sunim urges us to recognize our inner observer—the aspect of ourselves that can watch emotions arise and fade, allowing for a clearer understanding of their impermanent nature. 3. A common misconception is that observing emotions constitutes avoidance. In reality, it is an act of facing the truth of our emotional state. As we become more adept at this practice, we learn not to identify as our emotions but to see them as passing experiences. This realization liberates us from the mindset that these feelings define who we are. When we better understand our internal landscape, we can also better empathize with others, seeing that they too are navigating their emotional journeys. 4. Sunim discusses the universal nature of human emotion, highlighting that within everyone, disparate aspects coexist—from the compassionate and loving to the angry and fearful. He encourages a holistic view where we acknowledge both light and darkness within ourselves and others, recognizing that morality is rarely black and white. By practicing humility and refraining from judgment, we foster genuine connections and emotional integrity. 5. With emotional clarity comes acceptance. Sunim posits that resisting reality—grasping at what is—ultimately leads to unhappiness. Acceptance allows for a serene and composed state of mind amidst the chaos of the world. Recognizing that change is the only constant can alleviate suffering, as we learn to embrace life’s ebb and flow without clinging to past memories or future anxieties. 6. Spiritual practice is not just a solitary endeavor but is deeply rooted in our interactions with others. Each person we encounter offers lessons—whether through praise or criticism. Sunim reminds us that our true spiritual teachers can often be those who challenge us, pushing our boundaries and helping us grow. 7. Finally, when faced with feelings of low energy or sadness, Sunim advises the practice of quiet observation. Just as one would observe natural phenomena, such as a flowing river, we can appreciate our feelings without needing to change them. This practice of mindfulness allows us to connect with the present moment and fosters acceptance of our experience—transforming what feels overwhelming into a passing phase. Through these principles, Haemin Sunim cultivates a profound understanding of emotional well-being, championing the art of observation, acceptance, and connection as vital tools for navigating the complexities of human experience. In doing so, he invites us to not only embrace our emotions but also to see them as an integral part of our shared humanity, fostering compassion towards ourselves and others.

example
expend

Chapter 3 | Passion

In the journey of self-discovery and teaching, the author, Haemin Sunim, reflects on his initial experiences as a college professor. Although filled with enthusiasm, he learned valuable lessons about balancing eagerness with the needs of his students, ultimately recognizing the importance of tempering one’s zeal for the sake of effective communication and learning. 1. The initial excitement of teaching can blur our perception of what students require. The author recalls his heart pounding as he met his students for the first time, filled with a hope to inspire them as his past teachers inspired him. However, this eagerness quickly turned into disappointment as he noticed students struggling to keep up with the demands of his course. 2. A vital realization came when the author recognized that students were not able to prioritize his class alone amidst their other commitments. This led him to adjust his teaching approach by reducing the intensity of assignments and allowing students to re-engage with the material at their own pace. This shift resulted in visible improvement in class dynamics and student interest, highlighting the necessity of remaining attuned to others' needs rather than being solely driven by personal passion. 3. The author emphasizes that enthusiasm must be tempered with wisdom. They illustrate that being overly eager can inadvertently become a burden—just like an unpalatable medicine that one is forced to take. Instead, true effectiveness stems from recognizing the bandwidth of those with whom we work. A shared journey is more enriching when it isn’t encumbered by misaligned expectations. 4. He stresses the distinction between being busy and being productive. Many may equate hard work with effectiveness, yet it is crucial to remain focused on outcomes rather than merely feeling busy. A genuine impact often requires calm, measured effort rather than frenetic activity driven by ego or anxiety. 5. The text highlights the importance of empathy in relationships, urging individuals to approach others with understanding rather than an agenda. Whether in personal or professional contexts, the ability to truly listen and consider differing viewpoints enhances connection and shared happiness over isolated righteousness. 6. Furthermore, maintaining relationships requires ongoing kindness, particularly towards those closest to us—family and colleagues. Neglecting these bonds in favor of external validation can lead to feelings of betrayal among loved ones, destabilizing what one has built. 7. Looking beyond one's convictions can also foster better relationships. The author advises prioritizing harmony over proving oneself right in disagreements, emphasizing that happiness and empathy should guide interactions rather than rigid adherence to individual beliefs. 8. Additionally, listeners often have the ability to make others feel valued, as they appreciate open-ended dialogues that invite genuine interest. This dynamic fosters goodwill and can lead to lasting relationships, far exceeding superficial agreements. 9. Finally, the author encourages individuals to seek true happiness rather than merely an appearance of success. This shift in perspective nurtures authentic connections and deeper fulfillment. Whether one's actions benefit or hinder others can shape the true measure of success; thus, collaboration should be favored over competition. In summary, as we navigate our roles in teaching, working, and relating to others, it is essential to blend passion with wisdom, prioritizing the welfare of those around us. By doing so, we foster a culture of understanding and collective growth, enriching our own journeys along the way.

Install Bookey App to Unlock Full Text and Audio
Free Trial Available!
app store

Scan to download

ad
ad
ad

Chapter 4 | Relationships

In our pursuit of happiness, many of us invest heavily in physical possessions and appearances, yet we often overlook the significance of fostering strong relationships. Genuine connections with family and friends provide emotional stability and a sense of security that cannot be substituted by material wealth. Conversely, without nurturing these bonds, even the most luxurious lifestyles can feel hollow, potentially leading to feelings of depression and despair. If true happiness is our goal, it is imperative that we prioritize building and maintaining meaningful relationships. Reflecting on personal experiences, I recall a two-week backpacking trip in Europe with a close friend from my monastery. Initially, our time together brought joy, but as the days wore on, we found ourselves irritable, longing for personal space. By proposing to explore separately for a day, we both rediscovered the joy of companionship through absence. I learned that maintaining a healthy relationship requires balance. Just as sitting too close to a fire can lead to discomfort, spending too much time together without space can strain relationships. Conversely, too little connection can lead to emotional coldness. Striking the right balance is crucial for sustaining warmth and intimacy. A story from Korean history illustrates this principle effectively. The tale of Maeng Sa-seong, a talented young man who let pride cloud his judgment, reveals that humility is vital in forging strong connections. By listening and treating others with respect, we can avoid unnecessary conflicts born from our egos. Engaging in respectful discourse rather than contentious debate fosters understanding and empathy. Similarly, recognizing that we all come from different backgrounds and behaving with humility can prevent misunderstandings. When faced with feelings of loneliness, it's essential to evaluate how we perceive those around us. Often, preconceived judgments, like assumptions of superiority or divergence, can isolate us. Instead, opening our hearts to others and fostering genuine connections can dispel loneliness. Speaking from a place of authenticity, rather than crafting responses rooted in politeness, creates space for deeper and more meaningful conversations. Additionally, addressing confrontational situations with calmness can prevent escalating tensions. By choosing not to retaliate in anger, we exhibit true strength of character. Forgiveness plays a key role in our emotional liberation. Holding onto past grievances only prolongs our suffering. Instead, finding the courage to forgive allows us to release ourselves from the emotional bondage that such resentment creates. We should also be mindful of our own shortcomings that might be reflected in our judgments of others. Often, what annoys us in others mirrors something within us. Recognizing this can foster compassion and understanding instead of judgment. Accepting that we are all flawed human beings can help build more harmonious relationships. Lastly, it is a common misconception that those we love can be easily changed. Relationships flourish when we embrace acceptance rather than attempting to reshape others. It is essential to approach conflicts with empathy and a desire to understand each other's perspectives. This mindset shift, focusing on understanding rather than demanding, creates an atmosphere conducive to resolution. Ultimately, the quality of our relationships significantly impacts our happiness and well-being. Nurturing these connections, embracing forgiveness, practicing empathy, and accepting the imperfections in ourselves and others cultivates deeper, more fulfilling interactions. It is vital to remember that true happiness is intertwined with the relationships we foster, enriching not only our lives but also the lives of those around us.

example
expend

Chapter 5 | Love

In the narrative of first love, the author reflects on their journey through adolescence, sparked by the eloquent and haunting words of Kahlil Gibran, which stirred a deep yearning for connection and understanding. At the tender age of ten, the author discovered Gibran’s profound love poems and spiritual writings, uncovering a beauty and sacredness within themselves previously unrecognized. Gibran’s discussions of love transcended mere affection, manifesting as an almost divine experience, awakening a powerful sense of reverence and intimacy with his themes. As the author navigated their teenage years, Gibran's letters to his beloved Mary Haskell became a beacon, illuminating the complexities and sanctity of love. His poignant statement that love is a formidable force acknowledged pain as an inherent companion to the ecstasy of the heart, prompting the author to promise they would embrace love fully when it came, despite the inevitable suffering it might bring. Eventually, the anticipated love emerged unexpectedly in high school—a romantic interest in an American missionary. The relationship blossomed through shared passions and heartfelt exchanges, characterized by music and baking, although it remained one-sided due to the missionary's impending return to the U.S. and her long-term commitment to another. Despite the awareness of its futility, the author’s feelings deepened, culminating in a poignant blend of joy and sorrow as the departure date loomed closer. This emotional conflict provided clarity to the notion of love as a sacred, mysterious connection, akin to the "unknown god" described by Gibran. Years later, upon learning of her marriage, the author experienced a mix of joy for her happiness and a bittersweet reflection on their shared memories. Despite this, they realized that instead of clinging to sorrow, they could cultivate gratitude for the love that had broadened their understanding of life. Through the lens of later experiences and misadventures in love, the author distilled several key principles about love and relationships: 1. The pursuit of love can be fruitless; it often arrives when least expected and cannot be compelled by readiness or desire. 2. Love should be embraced without conditional demands or expectations; true connections thrive in freedom rather than entrapment. 3. Authentic love is selfless, characterized by the joy of giving without anticipation of returns or reciprocity. It flourishes in a sense of trust, where vulnerability and emotional transparency are welcomed. 4. Relationships demand time and patience to cultivate trust and intimacy, much like marinating ingredients for a delightful meal. 5. Genuine appreciation for another person includes the acceptance of their authenticity, devoid of the impulse to change or improve them based on personal ideals. 6. The end of a relationship can be a reflection of personal growth, where one learns to release attachments with grace and wishes the best for the other person, demonstrating a mature understanding of love. As the author continues to navigate through life’s complexities, they reflect on how love illuminates the ordinary moments, revealing beauty in daily existence. By acknowledging one’s uniqueness and embracing the journey of connection, love transforms from an uninvited guest into a powerful force that motivates profound change. In essence, love is an enduring journey marked by trust, authenticity, and the occasional bittersweet remembrance, guiding each individual toward deeper self-awareness and meaningful connections.

example
expend

Chapter 6 | Life

In Chapter 6 of "The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down" by Haemin Sunim, the author draws insightful parallels between identity perceptions in different cultures and the deeper understandings of self that can emerge through everyday observations and experiences. 1. When encountering people who associate his monastic appearance with martial prowess or tranquility, Sunim reflects on the simplicity and depth of identity. Children and adults alike exhibit curiosity toward the monastic lifestyle, suggesting that society often defines individuals through their roles and externals rather than their intrinsic qualities or capabilities. This theme is particularly highlighted in contrasting Western and Korean perspectives, where one's identity might hinge more prominently on social background or education rather than personal achievements, values, or aspirations. 2. Sunim expresses concern over the implications of attaching one’s identity so closely to communal markers like education or hometown, which can stifle potential and hinder recognition of the true self. He underscores how limiting these identity associations might be, warning against the tendency to overlook the abilities and entrepreneurial spirit of those who may not fit conventional molds. 3. Drawing from his interactions, Sunim encourages readers to examine their own perceptions of identity. He asks whether they see others as individuals or reduce them to labels based on background. This introspection serves as a grounding exercise that invites the acknowledgment that everyone, even children playfully imitating a kung fu master, can offer valuable lessons. 4. Sunim also employs vivid analogies to remind us of the importance of recognizing the essence of life beyond superficial appearances. Life is likened to a pizza advertisement: seemingly perfect but often disappointing on tasting. This analogy acts as a metaphor for managing expectations and appreciating the ordinary moments that constitute our daily lives. 5. He notes life’s inherent unpredictability, suggesting a shift in perspective when faced with uncertainty. Rather than striving for a flawless existence, one should embrace the emotional ebb and flow, akin to jazz improvisation, asserting that joy can be found even amidst the mundane. 6. The chapter also conveys liberating insights recognized during a reflective moment on his thirtieth birthday. Sunim articulates three essential realizations: First, people are predominantly self-involved, often preoccupied with their own lives rather than focused on others. Second, one does not need to seek universal approval, understanding that not everyone will resonate positively with us. And third, the majority of our actions, even those seemingly directed toward others, often stem from our own needs and desires. 7. He urges readers to confront their worries about social perception, encouraging them to follow their passions and reduce life complications. This involve writing down personal dreams and desires, taking ownership of one’s circumstances, and ultimately living authentically. 8. Lastly, the chapter emphasizes the importance of wisdom through humility, encouraging active listening and deep engagement with others rather than simply aiming to share one’s own experiences. Sunim posits that true connection arises from sincere attention and compassion, creating a fertile ground for genuine understanding and relationship-building. In essence, Chapter 6 invites readers to reflect on identity, connection, and the pursuit of meaningful existence, emphasizing the beauty found in everyday moments, the importance of self-awareness, and the rich learning potential in all interactions.

Install Bookey App to Unlock Full Text and Audio
Free Trial Available!

Scan to download

1000+ Book Summaries, 80+ Topics

New titles added every week

ad

Chapter 7 | The Future

In life, often a single encouraging word can steer our future in a positive direction, an idea deeply rooted in both Buddhism and personal experiences. The Buddha’s teachings, particularly from the Lotus Sutra, emphasize the transformative power of encouragement. In the text, the Buddha offers a prophesy of enlightenment to his five hundred disciples, instilling hope and prompting them to engage earnestly in spiritual practice. This narrative resonates with personal stories, such as that of a young student who, inspired by a kind word from a strict teacher, found motivation to excel and become a mentor himself. 1. The profound impact of encouragement cannot be underestimated. Just as the Buddha’s confidence in his disciples fueled their spiritual growth, Ms. Lee's faith in her student ignited a drive for success and self-improvement. The belief and trust conveyed through heartfelt words can inspire individuals to rise above their perceived limitations and pursue their true potential. 2. Life should be lived authentically rather than being shaped by others' expectations or comparisons. Each journey, much like a marathon, is unique to the individual. Instead of racing against peers, it is essential to focus on personal growth and self-discovery, cultivating one's unique talents and interests. 3. Parents and educators play a critical role in this process. They should foster an environment where children can explore and enjoy their interests rather than succumb to societal pressures. Children need to understand that success isn't solely measured by traditional academic achievements but encompasses emotional intelligence, creativity, and deep connections with others. 4. The quest for one's calling often involves exploring a wide range of experiences rather than looking inward alone. Reading, volunteering, or engaging in various roles allows individuals to discover passions and interests that may not be immediately evident. Real-life experience broadens horizons and reveals possibilities that could lead to true fulfillment. 5. Self-awareness is key in finding one’s path. Engaging with diverse individuals and seeking out various life experiences sheds light on personal strengths, preferences, and environments in which one thrives. This understanding helps navigate toward a career that resonates deeply with one’s inner self rather than societal expectations. 6. In the workplace, the focus should not solely be on high-status challenges or salaries. Observing employee retention and workplace culture can be more indicative of a satisfying position. Stressing dedication and sincerity over mere busyness cultivates an environment of respect and productivity. 7. Success takes time and hard work; it is not a mere product of luck. Embracing hardships and learning from failures are essential for growth. Just as one does not expect a horse to run without proper training, individuals must prepare and persist to achieve their dreams. 8. Ultimately, living authentically and exercising personal freedom are crucial. Decisions should resonate with one’s desires and values rather than succumbing to the influence of those around us. Personal empowerment begins with valuing oneself and boldly pursuing passions that reflect true aspirations. 9. Life is about taking risks and leaping into the unknown. Overthinking and hesitance breed doubt and anxiety. The essence of a fulfilling life lies in courageous decisions made in alignment with one’s true self, leading to genuine satisfaction and realization. Through this lens of encouragement and self-discovery, we can reshape our futures and embrace life’s adventures with a sense of purpose and authenticity, guided by the belief that we are capable of achieving greatness.

Chapter 8 | Spirituality

The chapter explores themes of interfaith understanding, humility, and the essence of spiritual practice, drawing on both Christian and Buddhist teachings. The narrative begins with a reflection on the biblical principle of refraining from judgment, paralleling it with the Buddhist concept of karma, which underscores the importance of examining the consequences of our actions. The author shares a transformative experience visiting the Taizé community in France, where the similarities between Christian and Buddhist monastic lifestyles become evident. The camaraderie between the monks and the facility with which they engaged in prayer and shared meals, such as the unexpected joy of enjoying kimchi, fosters a deep connection, illustrating the familial bonds that can transcend religious differences. 1. Acknowledging the Value in All Faiths: The text emphasizes the significance of recognizing that every faith holds its intrinsic value. The author acknowledges the wisdom found in both Buddhism and Christianity, stressing the importance of approaching other spiritual paths with an open and humble mindset. Such openness nurtures respect and understanding. 2. The Need for Genuine Understanding: The chapter highlights the contrast between “surface faith,” which is superficial and often judgmental, and “in-depth faith,” which seeks deeper meanings beyond mere symbols. This deeper understanding promotes harmony among various belief systems, reducing the potential for conflict spurred by ignorance and fear. 3. Embracing Spiritual Practice: It points out that faith often overshadows practice in spiritual life. The true essence of any faith lies not in rigid rituals but in the transformative power of how these teachings influence our interactions and relationships. When one truly embodies the teachings of compassion and love, the distinctions between faiths blur. 4. Navigating Differences in Faith within Families: The narrative also delves into the complexities of maintaining relationships when family members follow different spiritual paths. Encouraging mutual respect and understanding is key. Engaging with the other’s faith can lead to personal growth and improve family dynamics, transforming tension into an opportunity for learning and connection. 5. The Evolution of Prayer and Humility: The development of prayer is described as a journey from self-centered requests to an expression of gratitude and the desire to embody divine qualities. This process deepens as one’s faith matures, promoting a more profound connection with the sacred and a sense of unity with all beings, regardless of their faith. 6. Finding Joy in Giving and True Altruism: The text conveys that true happiness and fulfillment come from acts of kindness that benefit others rather than seeking recognition or reward. Such selflessness is framed as a form of spiritual transcendence, equating mundane actions of love and generosity with miraculous deeds. 7. The Role of Spiritual Teachers: It acknowledges the importance of spiritual teachers while warning against idolizing them. Genuine teachers guide their students toward self-discovery rather than dependency, urging followers to think critically, foster emotional intelligence, and nurture spiritual wisdom. Ultimately, the chapter invites readers to embrace spiritual diversity and recognize the common threads that bind various traditions together. It advocates for a compassionate approach toward oneself and others, encouraging a journey of shared experiences that enrich the human experience and cultivate deeper spiritual growth. Through such understanding, relationships flourish, conflict diminishes, and a larger sense of community emerges.

example
expend

Table of Contents